This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
