quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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