She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this boner is exhausting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
