you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
