It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
