white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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