We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
