Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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