I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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