i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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