honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
