You don't have asthma, your pregnant
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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