YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
