just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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