I want to stick my p in your. b.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
