it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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