Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
