please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
