I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
