so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
