just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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