we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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