3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
