You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club š
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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