do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
