Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
