I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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