Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
