Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
