Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
either way he was missing a nipple.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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