Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
