Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
