I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
