Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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