Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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