He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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