Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
