well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
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how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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