She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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