i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
