she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
