i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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