Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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