Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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