have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
