Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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