I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
