.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
