I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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