stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
