Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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