Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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