Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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