HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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