I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
