If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
