You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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