john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
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Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
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i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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