I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
