Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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