Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize