you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best