i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.