I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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