you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
